The Elephant

Aug. 21st, 2010 - 1:58 A.M.

Thoughts are coming at my heard like thin needles piercing through barely leaving any concrete details to grasp on. It's a mixture of lack of sleep and other emotions that confuse me at this moment.

In about 8 hours, I will be on the road to my new Life.

The one thing I know for sure is that I'm excited, but am I necessarily ready for it?

I'm not sure? It's too soon to tell. The horizons have just broadened itself in this very ungodly hour. It is much too soon to determine whether high school prepared me or not because they have to be experienced and tested. The mixture of emotions contain feelings of sadness and deep regret for not being able to be have as many opportunities to have deeper relationships with friends that I wanted to keep in touch with.

After high school graduation, the world suddenly became so big as if a balloon just became inflated. My once sheltered mindset immediately came into attention with health, personal, financial, and technical aspects. Not that I didn't notice about them, but they suddenly became important. The sense of sudden anticipation release was delayed all the way up until now. My stomach feels slightly uneasy for the future.

I'm nervous. So what? It's normal.

I'm leaving behind my community, my love, my joy, my frustrations, my past, my friends, my family, my church, my foundation, my home... for a whole new world.

Not sure what to expect or feel. I give it all up to faith.