I woke up this morning with terrible itches all over my head. I'm not sure what to do so I go take a shower and wash my hair again I think. I took a shower earlier yesterday so I don't know what caused the itch. So the wash made it somewhat better.
And now I can't sleep. So what do I do? I think.
I started to think about the group of friends that I hung out with during high school and now friends with friends I knew from high at other colleges and I'm surprised to find out who knows who on Facebook. In simpler terms, it's surprising to find out my friends mutual friends. It's a hell of a small world. Even at the college level or university level where there at least a thousand plus students attending, there are still people who know other people from the other side of the state. What I'm even more fascinated is how my elementary school friends became good friends with other people that I knew from other places in high school. What small world indeed.
I'm attempting to figure out why I don't like to include myself or sometimes feel left out with my groups of friends. With certain groups, or groups that I could have been part of, I've been shunned out of the picture. And now that years past by, they've become great friends. I could have been in groups if I wanted to, but I chose not to.
Sometimes, I am genuinely happy for them. They found their best friends. But I have to admit that there are other times and I know it's so wrong, stupid, selfish of me to say this because I chose this for myself but sometimes I'm just so jealous. But at the same time, I realize that it's not my place to be in large settings of groups. I just wasn't meant to be. It's a huge part of my personality and my strengths. I love talking to the "less associated" individuals and help them find an interest or other friends to hang out with because I relate to them more. I love bringing people back into society. That's why I have a strong interest in occupational therapy. That's the theme and focus of the job. It's to bring individuals who experienced a trauma or disability that prevents them from achieve their full potential back into society.
It's definitely made for me and I'm made for it. I honestly can't wait to become an occupational therapist. The occupational therapist counselor I met a couple days ago was so warm and gentle. She helped me tremendously despite the fact she was very busy at the time. Man, I can't wait to utilize my strengths and use my skills and knowledge to achieve effective and maximum effects. Not that I can't right now, but I can't wait to work in a professional setting. I love seeing the small potential in people and encouraging them to grow. Someone or several people told me that I have a gift to see from other people's perspective and empathize with them. I didn't notice their comment until now, but I think I can see what they're talking about. No wonder it feels like a sixth sense. I can naturally pick up on emotions that others can't see.
I met another counselor and she explained a personality results test for me. And the results I found were pretty shocking. It was pretty dead on and accurate. So I decided to utilize these results and apply them into my everyday life.
For like 2 weeks, I decided to change the way I think about myself. To think about positive thoughts about myself and to believe in myself and my dreams. I always thought it was extremely egotistical of me to think highly of myself, but you know what, everyone person should, but not in an arrogant manner. I think the only difference is for arrogance is loving yourself too much. But within the 2 weeks, the thoughts and dreams I had for myself allowed me to change my habits and harbor more positive feelings more than before until I learned to have faith in myself. It's a powerful tool to get begin the day and end the day to state your dreams and state them out loud and imagine them coming true.
Sometimes it only takes a moment to see your whole life.
Daaaah. Now I feel like I can go back to bed now. Ahahaha. Class starts in 1 hr. -____-
Eh. Over and out. Knocking out at 7:38 a.m.
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